Sara Orellana
I recently encountered a familiar leadership challenge: how to simultaneously motivate employees while holding them accountable. For me, this is a challenge I have struggled to master for more than a decade.
I love to encourage, praise, and promote the wonderful efforts of employees. I prefer positive environments, choosing to focus on what people did correctly versus what they did not do or did wrong. But, inevitably, there comes a time when a difficult conversation must be had.
I am not a yeller, nor do I believe in having the same conversation over and over again. I strive to say as little as possible, asking open-ended questions to learn what challenges I need to assist the employee with. My goal is to get the task accomplished and promote positive growth within the team.
The last time I attempted this, no sooner had I asked for a meeting to discuss an employee’s work, then all hell broke loose. Rather than taking the time to understand what the conversation was about, the employee launched into overdrive, speaking to everyone who would listen about my “unfair expectations.” Making matters even worse, leadership decided having such a conversation was unfair to the employee and I was the cause of the turmoil. I was stunned, hurt, baffled. How did a conversation to learn what assistance an employee needed to accomplish their tasks turn into this drama? And why was I at fault?
Some have said that I take criticism very well, which is honestly not true. I have learned to push down my feelings and ask what I can learn from the situation, I strive to keep my thoughts positive, to learn in every situation, and take ownership of my wrongs. So I was overly confused on why I continuously find myself in this predicament.
I reflected on my own behavior. In the professional world, I am very serious, hold a good portion of my personality back, and am very direct. I strive for clarity, and tend to leave a lot of emotions out. There is also nothing I can do to control other people.
Stressing over someone’s work is not worth the emotional turmoil. Because of my serious nature, lack of emotion, and direct approach, a lot of people will find me intimidating. I can be a happy-go-lucky person at work, who skips drama and gossip, shares smiles, but doesn’t cross the boundaries I have set for myself. Coming to these realizations, and that several of my peers have similar struggles, made me realize I am not alone. While there is needed growth, I am not who that person made me out to be. We all have stress, struggle with emotions, and trauma. All we can do is strive to present ourselves in the most positive light possible while maintaining our boundaries.
Sara Orellana is an independent entrepreneur who specializes in strategic planning, leadership, and grant writing. She can be reached at sara@3raptorconsulting.com.