18 years in a religious cult

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  • My name is KaraLee Langford, and for 18 years I was raised in a religious cult here in Oklahoma.
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In the small town of Luther Oklahoma along Triple X Road, a hidden building nestled back in the woods was a home away from home for over 100 members of a religious cult.

A green gate barricaded the lonely road leading to a plain metal building. The building was blocked from the road by a forest of pine trees, as were its other two sides. On the back side of the metal structure a beautiful well-kept field stretched out as far as one could see. A twisted well-worn gravel road, guarded on either side by a barbed-wire fence, was the only way in and the only way out.

My name is KaraLee Langford, and for 18 years I was raised in a religious cult.

The cult did not have a name. When asked where I went to church I was instructed to simply tell people “we are a nondenominational group of Christians meeting in the name of the Lord.”

My family of five moved from Burleson Texas to Edmond Oklahoma on my 11th birthday, where we began meeting with a branch of the cult in Luther Oklahoma. The cult known on legal documents as The Church Which is Christ’s Body, has multiple branches all across the nation. However, the branch in Luther Oklahoma was nothing like the group we met with in Texas.

Females in Luther did not cut their hair, wear make-up, nail polish or hardly any jewelry. Skirts must be worn two inches or longer below the knee. We were not allowed to show our shoulders and shirts had to be cut high enough and loose enough that no figure could be distinguished underneath. Females were not supposed to have an opinion, and definitely did not further their education, if they even completed high school to begin with. The wives lived in the shadow of their husbands. Their duty was only to become wife and mother because that was the only way a female could live to please the Lord.

In a book created by some of the leaders of the cult about the type of relationship a male should desire in a female listed the attributes of a female that would “make” a good wife.

“She [the wife] needs to have demonstrated the ability to be controlled,” the book said.

Another guide written by cult members on the standard goals of a marriage said the wife must always follow the husbands lead.

“Allow your husband to teach and train you.” the guide read. “ allow your husband to control you.”

This was the only life I knew and at the time, it was reliable and fun. About three times a year, the cult coordinated big camps where members from all over the states would gather at one location and for a weekend, hundreds of members would congregate together.

My favorite memories were from May camp. People would sleep in tents or RV’s on the cult property and families in Luther would host people inside their homes. We would have a morning meeting, and everyone would eat lunch together. Then all afternoon we could do whatever we wanted. We would get a competitive game of baseball or volleyball going. Groups of people would lounge around tables playing a game of cards and casually chatting with one another. Some of the wives would bring their sewing machines and work on projects in a sewing circle. And without fail, the older men would always claim a shady spot under the trees to secure a table and play dominos for hours on end. I was happy to be surrounded by all my friends and family and people I loved. I knew what my future held for me and that security was comforting.

For the most part I had a happy childhood. I grew up sheltered and surrounded by people I thought I could trust and who only wanted what was best for me.

Then, I watched as the elders began to slowly tighten the cord around their followers' necks. Rules were no longer suggestions, and if not implemented, it meant you were not godly enough. The elders began separating the “weak minded” from the strong. I watched as my grandfather was publicly shunned for questioning the teachings of the elders. The people I thought were some of my closest friends began to bully me. Families who had been a part of the cult for generations were suddenly leaving and you could smell the fear in the leaders.

As the rules and punishments for breaking them became more frequent and severe, families began questioning the motives of the leaders. According to the elders, those that left were “ungodly” and they could “not fight the grasp of Satan.”

The security we once felt in the cult made it difficult for my family to leave. We were taught our entire lives that the outside world was a dangerous place because it was filled with Satan’s temptations.

My family watched as my grandparents and aunts and uncles were criticized for stepping away from the folds of the cult. People they once trusted were now mocking them to make themselves look better in the eyes of the cult leaders.

Finally, in 2015, we left. My family moved from Luther to Oklahoma City and for a while, my dad still attended meetings at the cult. However, I, along with my mom and two sisters, refused to go back.

I don’t remember being at the cult and thinking it would be the last time I would ever be there. And I did not feel the relief I thought I would after leaving. Instead, I was terrified. In the cult, I knew who I was. I knew what was expected of me and I knew what my future was supposed to look like. I was to be a wife and mother, that was who I was groomed to be.

Suddenly the entire world was at my fingertips. I could go to college and have a career. I didn’t need permission to make new friends outside of the cult. I was free to make my own decisions without judgement. But, it was overwhelming. I mourned the loss of simplicity of my former life and without realizing it, I fell into depression. In leaving the cult, I had also left one of my best friends behind. At first, we continued to communicate with each other, but with time she began pulling away from me.

After five years of escaping the cult, I still find it difficult to comprehend the level of mental manipulation used to control its members. Although many escaped the same time my family did, the cult still exists in several parts of the nation. The cult will recruit families and it will grow and strengthen. Many more will be harmed by its toxicity, but as long as the leaders have followers, the cycle will continue.

It has taken years to unlearn what I have been taught my entire life. Though I am still processing life outside the cult, I am no longer the judgmental, naive, and submissive person I was before. I know what it is like to feel your thoughts and opinions don’t matter, to feel suppressed and trapped. Now, I am a student at the University of Oklahoma, studying journalism so that I might have the opportunity to be the voice for those who feel they don’t have the courage.