Conflict resolution is at the very core of leadership. When a leader chooses to ignore conflict, they give their blessing to a toxic work environment. And the best way to lose good employees is to not protect the workplace.
As leaders our goal is to figure out what actually happened. Years ago when I ran a summer day camp, I learned a very important lesson. Every problem seemed like a crisis to my staff. And with a staff of over 70 and more than 350 campers, I faced many challenges. By learning that I could handle situations on my time and in my territory, I was able to respond not react. That lesson made me a better leader.
There are a couple key steps to take before you embark on a difficult conversation.
First and foremost is impartiality. Remember that every story has three sides: each person’s perspective and what actually happened. Any degree of partiality can impair your judgment.
Once you have a good idea of what happened, you are ready to start the process. Take the time needed to research policies, speak to HR, and become fully prepared. When you are ready, create the ideal environment for the discussion. Choose a room or office that is neutral and ensure there a clear exit for every person in the room. It’s also best to have a second impartial person present. Schedule the conversation for a time that work best for you, giving yourself plenty of time for the conversation and to process after. During the conversation, practice active listening, keep your statements short, and the discussion focused and moving forward. You do not need to respond to every question or statement; silence can be your best friend. Once everything has been said, provide a short window to ask questions, then have a plan in place to move forward. No matter the decision, lingering in the moment will not be beneficial to anyone.
Difficult conversations are uncomfortable tasks leaders will always encounter. Managing these discussions gives us the opportunity to respond and not react. And learning to navigate the conflict resolution process helps us grow as leaders.
Sara Orellana is an independent entrepreneur who specializes in strategic planning, leadership, and grant writing. She can be reached at sara@3raptorconsulting.com.