Sara Orellana
By Sara Orellana
As a woman in business, it is not easy to be assertive. The glass ceiling is as present as ever. As a professional who prefers to be direct, I am often seen as unemotional – a point that could not be farther from the truth. I choose to be direct in my communication as I strive to be clear. I choose to not include emotion because I don’t want any misrepresentation or misunderstanding of what I am trying to say. Being assertive is also a true challenge.
Years ago, in my first leadership position I truly came to understand the value of being assertive. I was hired as a fresh, young executive director by a board chair who wanted to invest in me and help me become the leader he saw in me. Shortly after he hired me, he resigned for personal reasons. This left me at the mercy of a man who was more focused on making his mark than improving the organization.
As is my nature, I chose to take the opportunity to learn as much as possible. As I grew and learned, I made requested changes as well as changes I knew needed to be made. I also watched this man control the board and change the course of the organization.
Being a young leader, I did not say anything. I simply watched. I allowed him to mock me in public, and address “mistakes” that simply did not exist.
Should I have been assertive? Yes. The problem is, I was never taught how. And so as the pattern continued, I remained quiet and watched others walk all over me.
In the end I learned a valuable lesson, and that is this: in order to be true professionals, we must learn to be assertive. We must value what we add to the organization and have the courage to stand up for ourselves. Not saying anything because we believe the truth will work itself out, or that we are taking the higher road is a falsehood.
Assertive language is active language. We own the action of our words. We use “I” statements and state facts. We do not intermingle emotions with our words, meaning we do not allow ourselves to become flustered or angry, rather we remain calm and steady. When someone wrongs us or says something that is untrue, we must stand up for ourselves. We must also understand that our words must reflect our actions.
Being assertive is not easy for men or women. But if we want to live up to our full potential, we must learn to be assertive. I say this as much to myself as I say this to you. We all struggle, and we all have difficult days. We will stumble and fall, but we must get back up knowing we will do better the next day.
Value your dreams and learn to be assertive. Know it is ok to be who you are. If you are direct, that is fine. But be assertive. Do not allow others to walk all over you. In an ever-changing world, choose to follow your dreams and be assertive with your work.
Sara Orellana, MS, MPH is an independent entrepreneur who specializes in strategic planning, leadership, and grant writing. She can be reached at sara@3raptorconsulting.com.