Fancy dining, movies and theater performances aren’t part of the dating experience for the time being as the COVID-19 virus takes its toll on many parts of life.
Single people – whether young or old – have been relegated to the use of social media apps such as Tinder, Match and eHarmony as ways to develop relationships. Recommended social distancing and the closure of hot dating spots have pushed some singles into an unknown territory.
Steve Sichterman, of Lawton, has been divorced for two years but his regular dating life has taken a back seat to the virus crisis.
“No one’s getting together,” he said. “You’re talking to people more (online) and getting to know them more. It’s not like you can message someone for two days and then go out. You’re creating a better quality date whenever that happens.”
Jason Hall, who has been single the past 10 years, said he dated “pretty often,” which has thrown a crimp in his style.
“You’re limited to online conversations on the dating apps. You’re not meeting anyone by chance at Target or the bars,” he said. “It’s difficult to hold someone’s attention virtually when you can only communicate with them on Snapchat or some other form of social media. Pretty soon, the novelty wears off. It’s also difficult to tell what the chemistry is between you and the other person even with video chat.”
Although singles in the U.S. are reminded to remain socially distant, Tinder reports there were more swipes on Sunday, March 29 than on any single day in the company’s history with more than 3 billion swipes. The company also reported daily conversations are up an average of 20 percent around the world and the average length of the conversations is 25 percent longer.
In the U.S., conversations are up an average of 19 percent and the average length of the conversations increased eight percent.
Tinder and other dating apps encourage their members to visit the World Health Organization website for information about social distancing and new information regarding the COVID-19 virus. Officials with eHarmony and Match did not provide statements for this story.
Hall, who is 38 and a grandfather, said he isn’t looking for a one-night stand. Instead, he’s searching for someone who will entertain a longer relationship built on mutual interests.
“There’s still a lot of people trying for those casual hookups, which was a surprise to me,” he said. “I don’t know where we go from here after all of this (virus) is over and we’re able to do this (date) again. Even after this is over, I want to get to know people and enjoy them for as long as we can stand each other.”
Chris Martin, another Lawton resident, said social distancing hasn’t impacted his dating life too much.
“I’m selective who I date,” he said.
Unfortunately, Martin recently met a woman and the couple enjoyed their first date the night before “everything got locked down,” he said. “I would have been driving back and forth to see her if this hadn’t happened. My plans are fluid right now, but I want to see her as soon as this lockdown is over. We talk about the what-ifs and when we can see each other.”
Since traditional dating is not an option right now, Martin and the woman are getting to know each other through social media by discussing every topic imaginable, including their personal histories and interests.
“Work is a big one. We are in essential businesses. Hers is totally essential and mine is partially,” he said.
Like other people, Martin sees relationships in a different context due to the lack of physical contact with their partner.
“It’s really pushed the relationship forward,” he said. “The intellectual connection is important. But this (virus) has definitely put a damper on a lot of activities that people would normally do on dates.”
As a monogamous dater, Martin is hoping his newfound relationship will survive the virus and all of its restrictions.
“This is new to me, telling me I can’t do something,” he said. “I’m not saying, ‘Woe is me. Look how bad I have it,’ but this is not something I deal with on a regular basis.”
Waheed Gbadamosi, a banker, and his girlfriend of almost two years, haven’t seen each other since the shelter-in-place order was handed down.
“It’s been difficult to see her but we try to connect as much as possible using FaceTime. Most of the time we text,” he said.
Gbadamosi’s girlfriend is in the healthcare industry and continues to work, which provides plenty of interesting conversation even if it’s not in person.
“We talk about our day, family, friends and our future plans, anything that’s interesting,” he said. “I guess this is our new normal, at least for now.”